I have a new thing at courduroy mtn:
http://www.airforcejoyride.com/mtn32.html

I have a new thing up at Keyhole:
http://keyholemagazine.com/brandi-wells/fifteen-unrelated-stories

Things I'm reading while I'm waiting

http://eyeshot.net/gaudry.html

http://www.monkeybicycle.net/archive/Ruane/autobiography.html

http://pequin.org/archives/2009/darbylarson/or.php

http://rumble.sy2.com/stories/pinned_erlewine.html

http://wigleaf.com/200902kc.htm

gjaioreopj90a9gn ga ga998hr

Still haven't heard from any grad schools I applied to. It's hard when I see everyone posting on TSE or the MFA blog about their acceptances.

I wish I had
-provided a better writing sample. I worry that it wasn't 'serious' enough.
-drafted my statement of purpose more
-applied to more schools. even though i applied to nine.
-gotten better grades.
-done better on the gre.
-applied earlier instead of at the last minute.

Every time the phone rings, I jump. I check my email every 3 or 4 minutes. Doesn't help that I have a job where I sit in front of a computer all day.

I hate it when friends say, "Don't worry. Of course you got in."
I try to explain that the acceptance rate on most of the schools I applied at was 1 or 2%

I have no idea what I'll do next year or where I'll be. It stresses me. I am a planner. I like plans. I like lists. Sometimes I plan to make lists. I make lists of lists I am going to make.



Friend Erik texted me, "You're accepted!" He assures me he will waive all fees and require me to teach no classes.

My boyfriend wrote a nonfiction poem about Blackie the cat:

Big black cat opens doors

big fat cat poo's on floors

sits on laps

upside down floor naps

big black cat

It is my favorite poem now.

Still haven't heard back from any grad schools. Feeling increasingly paranoid, rejected, insane.

Here's a list of things recently searched for on google on my computer:

usa map

new hampshire

weight watcher hunger monster

92 civic axle replacement

cloaca

tse

meatball recipe

bat boy

pychobilly zombie

dead

dead body

cramps

reverend horton heat

zombie face

skull tattoo

pirate ship tattoo

baconaise

break dancing song

aztec earrings

mayan earrings

hookah

how to tell if someone is a jew

how did brandi wells die

sahara smoke

I think this list says a lot about us. Most of those things weren't me. The jew thing was me. I'm sorry.

Grad Schools

Grad schools (including some that I applied to) have started notifying people in the past few days. I've heard nothing.

This means I am freaking out.
Checking my email 72 times a day and answering every phone call.

It's like a horrible, horrible game that makes me cry.
Like musical chairs.

The new issue of elimae is up today with good work by people like Brian Beatty, Krammer Abrahams, Kim Chinquee, Molly Gaudry, Brian Foley, J.A. Tyler, and Mike Topp.

And me:
http://www.elimae.com/2009/02/Elliot.html

3 prose poems up at 3am magazine:
http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/three-poems-13/

Virginia Quarterly says NO to me.

That's okay. I say NO to you, Virginia Quarterly. And probably you have a bad haircut that highlights the awkward cowlicks on the back of your head. And I can see sick red acne on the back of your neck. There is also some razor burn. I wonder if the razor hurts the acne. Cuts the head of each pimple off so pimple guts leak down your neck and stain the collar of your tacky polo shirt.

That's right. You're tacky and I have comfortable green pajamas with big pockets. Inside my pocket there is a coupon for a free chicken bisquit from chick-fil-a.

What I did do this weekend was drive five hours to pick up a motor and transmission. And the following day I went to the world's largest Mcdonalds, which is located in Orlando Florida. It's two stories tall and has more arcade type games than most arcades do. The menu includes items like shrimp tortellini, chimichangas, sandwiches, pizza, layer cakes with frosting, philly cheesesteak and all the regular type Mcdonalds foods.

Then we went to Islands of adventure and Orlando. Walking around for eight hours in converses was a bad idea. But it was freaking fun. I even managed to escape without eating any junkfood. No dip n dots or churros or funnel cakes.


I have a story at Hobart:
http://hobartpulp.com/website/february/wells.html

and a poem at Apocryphal Text:
http://www.apocryphaltextpoetry.com/apocryphal_text_3/brandi_wells.htm

stuff

I have my first nonfiction thing up at Willows Wept:
http://willowsweptreview.blogspot.com/2009/02/january-6-1998.html

And then I have a thing at Six Sentences:
http://sixsentences.blogspot.com/2009/02/inside-out.html

I've been writing a lot about my dad lately. I don't know why the sudden surge to do so.